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About Deviant Artist Senior Member Jenny (Romanchuk) AdamsFemale/Canada Recent Activity
Deviant for 11 Years
Premium Member 'til Hell freezes over
Statistics 412 Deviations 7,754 Comments 1,102,701 Pageviews

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deviation in storage by wylielise
Dateline - "Infatuation"
             
This is going to be a 2 hour documentary about Flutterby727 

I'm frightened to see this. I don't know if I can. It's so very different to watch a show about someone who you cared about... And its so very different than an accident or 'natural causes'--
I have problems saying the "M" word when speaking about her--its like the words are kind of foreign, clumsy, or they fade in my mouth draining my voice--when I do speak it-- it sounds forced and it feels like an explosion of just the gravity of what that word means just implodes inside my head and all around me--just the whole weight of what happened to her... Shelley was one of the first followers of my comic. She was so supportive-- I would often write and draw the comic thinking about her "wow I can't wait to see what she thinks of this!"-- she would ask questions about how to draw something--or things about writing a silly parody comic of TZH-- But now I'm wracking my brain and struggling to remember and preserve all the little pieces of contact I have had with her-- I haven't deleted any of Shelley's emails--but I'm afraid to read them-- I hope my responses we good-- I can't remember--which upsets me even more--not remembering everything-- I want to believe desperately that I was a good friend or even an acquaintance to her. But I don't know--and probably never will.
I'll have nightmares about it--cruel nightmares where I save her and everything is okay, or ones where she's missing and it's my fault that I can't find her before it's too late. I'm mad at myself for taking her friendship for granted--for not getting to know her better when she was alive--I'm mad at the monster who took her from her mom and dad, her sisters, and the rest of her family--I'm mad at the fact that I feel so helpless and isolated--I know how long you grieve isn't a measurement on how much you loved someone, I know there is no such thing as closure just 'a new normal' but its really hard to stop reading the book of pain so much and put it back on the shelf when you feel like you don't have all the answers-- because the book is just a bunch of blank pages-- of whats, why's, and what-could-have been.
  • Listening to: Walk the Rain by the Sneaker Pimps
  • Reading: Webcomics

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:iconsilverclaw81:
Silverclaw81 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013
Happy birthday :squee: :iconbrohugplz:
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:iconsullmaster:
SullMaster Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013
Happy Birthday!! :cake: :)
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:iconvisr:
Visr Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Student General Artist
Happy Birthday!
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:iconmrjmzack:
MrJmZack Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Professional General Artist
Happy birthday, Jenny, have a slice! :cake:
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:icon66scarylion44:
66scarylion44 Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Happy Birth---OH SHIT A ZOMBIE *beheads with shovel* day!
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:iconharukohoshiko:
HarukoHoshiko Featured By Owner Jun 27, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Happy Birthday!
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:iconwildeer:
wildeer Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013
Hello there! Happy early Birthday! Hope you will have a great day!
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:iconice-or-fire:
ice-or-fire Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013
Hello! :iconrainbowbummiecakeplz:
Happy [early] birthday!
Wishing you many more candles to come and a bigger cake to fit them all!
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:icontrue-skorn:
TRUE-SKORN Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013
Happy soon to be birthday Ashwings. Here is hoping you get a new shovel.
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:iconmetaknightgirl13:
metaknightgirl13 Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2013
Happy Early Birthday:hug::cookie:
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:iconfreemech:
FreeMech Featured By Owner Jun 25, 2013  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You have some great work and I love your unique style of drawing. I definitely plan on checking out your comic. I'm in the process of starting my own and someone recommended it to me.
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:icon66scarylion44:
66scarylion44 Featured By Owner Jun 2, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
On the chapter 19 cover, Mau's face looks a bit, erm, weird, "stare at it for five minutes and it still doesn't look right"weird.
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:iconashwings:
Ashwings Featured By Owner Jun 4, 2013
Dangit!
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:iconpgcabs:
PGCabs Featured By Owner May 12, 2013
You're rock!!
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:iconmeowz123:
Meowz123 Featured By Owner Apr 22, 2013
Hi Ashwings. Just saying that I love your comic! It's so awesome! Great storyline. Shame about Milo. :c Wasn't expecting James' fate.
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:iconsistemx:
sistemx Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013
What is the collective rectum?
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:iconashwings:
Ashwings Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013
Erm...? What? Haha.
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:iconboshudi:
Boshudi Featured By Owner Apr 10, 2013  Professional General Artist
Ashy hates me...
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:iconashwings:
Ashwings Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013
Whyyyy? D:
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:iconboshudi:
Boshudi Featured By Owner Apr 13, 2013  Professional General Artist
Miss you Ashy.
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